I went to DC with Vicious Vampress to spend a week with my beloved friend Sir Crovax. My slave, Melissa, the twirly faced one, attended to us… and the large fat cat is named Big Mao, and belongs to Sir Crovax’s housemate…. the cat is so big he bangs on the door loudly to be let in. He also crushes those who he sleeps on.

The only antidote appears to be to fall asleep on HIM.

One of my favorite things in the world is good food, and this trip had PLENTY of that….

The first night, we went to Wegman’s, my favorite grocery store (make one in Raleigh pleaaaase Wegman!) and I found some whole wheat rotini!

So I made meatballs stuffed with mozzarella in a from-scratch marinara, a nice spring salad with curry yogurt dressing, and multi-grain bread toasted with cheese, herbed garlic, and bruschetta. OMFG! I outdid myself. Mmmm food-pig.

More to come soon!

Help others find this:

Jollies "Bubbles" Dildo

Tiny Nipple Clamps

Leather Vampire Gloves

Rubber 'koosh' type flogger

All of these toys were recent gifts from my boys. The “jollies” bubble dildo is definitely my favorite. It’s silicone, so its disinfectable between uses. It’s got a wide enough base to use with many dildo harnesses. And it has a feel or texture a bit like a buttplug! Yippieee.

Here are a few more additions which are particularly awesome and deserve a bit more explanation…

Solid Steel Paddle

This piece was won from a contest being put on by “SocialKink.Com” and donated by JT’s Stockroom. If you follow their twitter account and look for press releases on their website, you can learn more about contests they are running and how to enter! After I won, they basically mailed this out the very next day! It was totally cool to wake up to the FedEx guy bringing me a present. I don’t think I’ve ever won anything before so this was super fun. And it’s a nice piece, too!

Laundry Day T-Shirt

Okay, it’s not a toy per-se but it was a totally cute gift from one of my special boys, and I love it! It’s so cute and casual and can be taken two different ways. Also, I know it’s been a while since I’ve shared any new photos of myself, so there you have it, it’s a pic of me out in the freezing cold in a giant black trench coat!

Help others find this:

DIY Blindfold

Trying a scarf around a bottom’s eyes might be fun, but the pressure on the eyeballs can actually damage the bottom’s vision.

You could purchase a fancy-shmancy bondage blindfold made out of leather for about $30 bux that had a nice round shape to it to “cup” the eyes and protect them from pressure. Or you could make your own. I made 4 or 5 pairs for $1, plus some paint and duct tape…

Here is an extremely affordable “throw away” blindfold — it can be cute and classy or cheap and simple depending on how much effort you want to put into it.

Let’s get crafty.

Step 1: Gather Supplies!

You will need:

• paint
• duct tape (optional)
• some very cheap diving goggles.

Notes — You can either use interior spray paint or, if you don’t mind brush marks, acrylic craft paint is fine. Spray paint will turn out more even and glossy.

You can find some very cheap diving goggles in dollar stores in the summer for about $1 a pair, or sometimes $1 for a pack of 3-5 extra super cheap ones. They are ‘play’ goggles for kids and don’t really work to seal the water out. But they will work fine for our perverted purposes. If you can buy a multi-pack, you will end up with at least two or three working sets of inexpensive blindfolds.

Step 2: Take apart.

Separate all of the pieces and try to remember carefully how they go back together. You may want to leave a pair properly assembled so that you can see how it is meant to be, or take a photo of it before taking it apart.

Also, if you take several of them apart at once, put them in separate piles so you can tell all the pieces apart later. These are super cheap goggles and so the parts probably won’t swap out easily later. You’ll have a better chance if you have the right pieces to go with the right goggles.

Step 3: Separate Parts before Painting

If you are going to be spray painting them and want to do multiple colors, make sure to separate all the parts to avoid spray painting the wrong color onto the wrong parts. Spray painting, btw, is an outdoor sport and is best done over tarps or flattened hefty bags, as seen here.

Step 4: Paint the SOLID parts only!

Spray paint or hand paint the solid plastic parts only.

The rubber gasket parts should not be painted. (If you cannot separate the solid pieces out like I have already, cover the soft plastic parts with painter’s tape to keep the paint off of them.) The paint probably won’t stick well, since the plastic/rubber gasket parts will slide around and then the paint will chip off!

Step 5: Paint outside of lenses.

CAUTION! Make sure that you do NOT spray paint the inside of the lenses. Check once or twice before you start spraying!

Why, you ask? Well, I am guessing that the makers of most paint companies never intended for you to have a submissive’s sweaty eyeballs in a confined space with a bunch of their dried paint!

So paint the OUTSIDE only, please…

Step 6: Optional Semi Opaque Blindfolds

If you want to paint your lenses a light color like this purple, you have many options.

• You can put several layers of the light color on so that it is very difficult to see any light.
• Put a layer of black paint on first, THEN cover it with the lighter color, preventing ANY light from entering.
• You can leave a very very thin layer of paint like shown in this pic.

With a thin layer of a light color of paint, the blindfolded bottom can see light and shadows but cannot see your form or anything you are holding. That can actually be very erotic — it reassures them that the top is close, tantalizes them by wishing they could really see what you were up to, but still accomplishes the purpose. However, a darker blindfold will keep the submissive completely in the dark — great for sensory deprivation, for example. I would suggest a set of each for every prepared top’s toybag. Hey, they’re going to cost about a buck a piece to make, why not?

Step 7: Paint some pieces on both sides.

After letting the pieces dry thoroughly (read the instructions on your paint for this!) paint pieces that won’t be directly near the eye, such as these little buckles, on both sides.

Step 8: Finish and Assemble

When the item has dried, break off any “over spray” or paint chips. Smooth rough edges. Check to make sure you didn’t miss any spots.

You will need to be careful to make sure that the painted side of the lenses are facing outward for the reasons outlined previously! Please check twice to make sure.

Step 9: Optional Aesthetics

If you want to make the piece more aesthetically pleasing, you can try replacing the cheap rubber straps with a similarly sized ribbon, band of leather, or in this case — black craft duct tape folded over four times. If you want to do the duct tape thing, be careful to fold the last strip so that the adhesive is properly covered so it won’t be caught in a submissive’s hair.

Step 10: Try it on and make sure you can’t see out!

Additional modifications: I will try to add a posh leather version of this blindfold tutorial in a few days, which will be much more comfortable than these, as well as a few other customization ideas.

Help others find this:

I think this video sums up QUITE nicely why I don’t answer my phone, return voicemails, or talk to boys *AT ALL* who don’t pay their deposits first. Like I’m gonna let some boy wank off for free!

Thanks to Mistress Clarissa for making this AWESOME video, and letting me share it with you. What a sense of humour — highly recommend this lady if you’re in NJ.

Help others find this:

My non-latex gloved hand. And Crisco.

Actually, it was fucking awesome — but there was some unexpected extra pressure. I had been expecting a crew of about 20 or so. TNG had been described to me as a small, laid back group of the ‘younger generation’ — less experienced, newbie sort of gathering who would be easy to impress with new information. No such luck, this time.

In actuality, when I showed up, Maya, the young lady who organizes (runs? owns? I don’t know her official title) TNG, excitedly ran up to me and announced, “We’ve had over 40 people RSVP! And Master Pam RSVPed for like, 7 people — her whole family is showing up just for your class before they head over to FAD!”

I grinned and nodded excitedly, while a small flock of butterflies started vigorous mating rituals inside my belly.

Master Pam & her partner, Phantom Blue, are some AWESOME titleholders — Blue is Mr North Carolina Leather 09 and and MP just became Ms. Southeast Olympus 2010, and she’s also an excellent teacher/presenter in the sex ed world. They both qualify as experienced in the BDSM realm, to say the least, and are definitely minor local celebrities. Thank god they’re also friends of mine.

But, I still wasn’t prepared for them to show up all in their leathers — MP wearing the huge telltale leather sash printed with her title, made up and decked out to the nines. Whoa.

I’d gotten some experience teaching from doing small, regular lessons for the pro-Dommes I’ve trained in my dungeon and more recently, helping Auburn Goddess & Devious with some of their classes at large conventions — I did behind the scenes work with them and did the “demo” portion of two classes, a CBT and an Anal Play class with them. It was fun, but it wasn’t the responsibility and the pressure of doing a presentation all by myself.

Now, with an astonishingly large audience and experienced players in attendance, the stage was set and the pressure (butterflies, ACK!) for me to have an extraordinary performance was on.

Luckily for me, the butterflies — something I’ve experienced for every public performance/appearance since I was 6 years old — only lasted as long as it took me to get started. Once I was in front of the group, the butterflies took off to annoy some other poor soul.

Needless to say… IT WAS AWESOME!

I climbed around like a monkey, clicked through slides on my PowerPoint, got to rant at length about all the safety issues that no one else ever seems to realize are important, showed off some pretty hardcore videos that got people wincing in their seats or howling with excitement, and passed around some of my wildest toys.

My partner says I only said “um” twice.

When I created the class, I realized that I had way, way too much material to cover. I couldn’t possibly teach how to do a proper enema, fisting techniques, prostate milking, psychology as a big part of anal play, and my tips and tricks for causing real pain without damage during an anal scene, in six hours — much less 1hr or 1.5hrs. So what I did was more of an overview: once you understand the risks, here’s how to do your own research on how to really get into each activity, with some interesting pointers and links to get started in the handout.

And I think I succeeded in fascinating people, and I’m already planning some specialty classes based off of the first one — Fisting & Size Queens, Enemas for Cleanliness, Pain or Pleasure, and maybe a few others. & it seems I’ll have venues available to me whenever I am ready to do those presentations: Maya from TNG has already invited me back to teach again. Yipieeee!

Thanks for having me, TNG — it was awesome. ^_^

The main sad point for me is that I didn’t actually end up doing a demo. One of the reasons was because the crowd was simply so packed into the room that they were within arms’ reach of me the entire time — way too close! Also, with so many young, energetic folks there, enticed into a wild fervor by my loud, humorous style, it was way too rowdy for me to WANT to do my demo piece. People were laughing, conversing, running around, tossing my toys at each other, bickering and threatening each other with giant dildos — it wasn’t a relaxed, erotic mood. And that’s probably for the best. I may have to think more on how to encourage interactiveness while maintaining a nice orderly group, next time — or just settle for not doing demo time stuff.

I’d really like to find a different bottom for my demo class — my CD slave Melissa is the stoic type, prone to silence and the occasional monotone grunt or “Ow, ma’am” and my partner is simply not very into play lately — not to mention terrified of crowds.

If you were hoping to go to this class, don’t worry — I WILL be teaching it again at some point. And if any other groups would like to invite me to teach, this class seems to be a big hit!

Anal Sadism
“Anal rape may be sexy… but hemorrhoids are not!”
Anal play for intermediate and advanced players — we will start with quick review of basics then move on to more interesting activities! Not a class for those who are sheepish! We will cover extremes such as large toys, fisting, prostate massages, male vs. female ‘bottoms’, anal torture, and enemas.

Help others find this:

Our favorite materials:

Silicone
Silicone comes in many colors and textures, and is hypoallergenic as well as easy to clean and hygenic. It is a porous material and can be thoroughly disinfected. To clean a silicone toy, you can boil it for 5-10 minutes, run it through your dishwasher, or bleach it with a 10% bleach solution. When purchasing a toy, make sure it says it is 100% silicone and is not a silicone blend, as the FDA only requires that a product be 10% silicone in order to be labeled “silicone”.

Pros: Non-Porous. Disinfectable. Hygienic. Hypoallergenic. Comfortable. Colorful.
Cons: Expensive. Can sometimes disintegrate when used with some silicone lubricants. Cheap silicone may not be 100% silicone and may contain miscellaneous and harmful stuff.
Aliases: Vixskin!

Glass (Borosilicate)
Not all glass dildos are made alike. Ordinary glass can shatter, break, and chip… but a sex toy made from clear, medical grade borosilicate glass is completely non-toxic and is said to withstand up to 3,000lbs of pressure. It is possible to chip, scratch, or scuff up a glass dildo, though, so it is recommended that you inspect it and rub your fingers over the material before every use “just in case.” They must also be stored in a soft padded case to prevent them from sudden shocks that could chip or break them. You can heat or chill your toy by placing it in ice water or in warm water. You can disinfect your glass dildo by boiling it for 10 minutes or cleaning it with a bleach solution. They are expensive items, but they will last forever if treated properly and are extremely attractive as well. Many people consider them to be true erotic artwork, and you can even find designer glass toys that have jewels embedded in them.
Pros: Non-Porous. Disinfectable. Hygienic. Hypoallergenic. Smooth texture. Beautiful, works of art.
Cons: Expensive. May be too firm, so it is possible to injure yourself. Must be a reputable brand or may not be real borosilicate!
Aliases: Pyrex.

Metal
Metal dildoes should be purchased from a reputable company and made out of surgical stainless steel or from anodized aluminum. Any other materials may be more likely to rust, corrode, may contain toxic substances, or cause allergic reactions. They look metallic (yeah?) and very shiny and thus can be perceived as intimidating or sadistic — perfect for BDSM lifestylers! They can be boiled, put in your dishwasher, or bleached.
Pros: Non-Porous. Disinfectable. Hygienic. Hypoallergenic. Smooth texture. Intimidating.
Cons: Expensive. May be too firm, so it is possible to injure yourself. Must be quality metal. Intimidating.
Aliases: Aluminum, stainless steel, surgical steel.

Acrylic
Very durable material. Some say that it is non-porous, however, it is impossible to boil it. Can be washed with anti-bacterial soap and water, or rinsed with a 10% bleach solution to disinfect.
Pros: Non-porous. Disinfectable. Hygienic. Hypoallergenic. Smooth texture.
Cons: Can be difficult to find. Scratches/scuffs up easily.
Alias: Lucite.

The Worst of the Worst:
Rubber
The number one danger of a rubber toy, is that unless it says “latex free rubber,” people who are allergic to latex will have a nasty reaction to it. On top of that, it is a porous material and thus impossible to disinfect. It is recommended that a rubber toy never be shared. If you want to keep it from degrading (wearing out/breaking down) as fast, cover it with a condom any time you plan to use it and then clean it carefully when you are done.
Cons: Wears out fast. Must NOT be used with oil-based lubricants. Less “slick,” catches on the skin more. Porous. Difficult to clean, impossible to disinfect. Should not be shared with others.
Pros: Common. Inexpensive.
Alias: Latex, jelly rubber, jelly, “silicone/latex blend.”

Thermo Plastic Elastomer
This material is enjoyed by many customers because it has a soft, pliable feeling, and warms up to body temperature quickly. It feels a lot like human skin. However, it is porous and thus cannot be disinfected and should not be shared with others. A good substitute for this material is Vixskin, a pliable silicone created by Vixen silicone toy company.
Cons: Porous. Difficult to clean, impossible to disinfect. Should not be shared with others. Expensive!
Pros: Feels good, doesn’t break down as fast as rubber. Cannot be used with oil-based lubricants or silicone-based lubricants.
Alias: Cyberskin, Ultraskin, Softskin, Ultra Realistic 3.0, TrueSkin, Loveclone

Plastic
Plastic is used by cheaper sex toys, and it has the benefit of not breaking down like rubber or jelly dildos do. The danger is that softer plastics have “placistizers” added, chemicals to soften the material, which leach out over time. Some of these chemicals are toxic to humans. Furthermore, plastic is porous and impossible to disinfect. Plastic should be a one-person toy, never shared with others! It is suggested that you cover your plastic toys with a condom whenever you use them, even if you never share them. Some plastics are of a higher quality than others, such as ABS plastic and food grade vinyl, as they off gas less than other plastics.
Cons: Porous. Difficult to clean, impossible to disinfect. Should not be shared with others. May contain toxic additives.
Pros: Doesn’t break down as fast as rubber. Cheap. Common.
Alias: ABS plastic, food grade vinyl, PVC, vinyl, polypropylene, polyeurethane

Further reading:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberskin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dildo
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borosilicate
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polymethyl_methacrylate
http://www.babeland.com/shoppingadvice/sextoymaterials
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_toy
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/sex-toy-material-guide.htm
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/sex-toy-materials-glossary.htm
http://www.freddyandeddy.com/howto/howshopforsextoy3.htm

Help others find this:

"Anal Lube" Cornered The Market!

Sex lubricant is important to reduce friction during all types of sexual stimulation, but it is especially important for the tender anal area. To avoid discomfort and possible long-term damage, you should always make sure that you use more than enough lube, and make sure you pick the right lube for your scene and for your partner. Navigating all the types of lubes out there may seem tricky — hopefully, this guide will help narrow it down a little.

Before you go ordering your helpful new products right and left, be sure to make a list of any allergens you or your partner might have to check the ingredients list for.


FIRST, an Important Note About “Numbing” Lubricants
Cons: May desensitize you to pleasure – AND numb you to damage.
There are a number of brands of anal lubricants out their which bill themselves to be “numbing” or “desensitizing” and they actually contain analgesics to reduce the sensation in the area. Use such a lube at your own risk. A sensation of pain in the sphincter area is your body’s way of telling you that something is wrong: if you are numb, you may not be able to FEEL those important warning signs. Hemorrhoids are not just unattractive and uncomfortable — they are also in an area which has tons of bacteria moving around it, every day. They are dangerous. I would suggest that you do everything in your power to avoid getting them!

Water-Based Lubricants
Cons: Dries out, so you’ll need to re-apply during extended sessions.
Water-based lubricants are the most universally safe — there is no danger of hurting any type of toy, condoms, or body parts. They are also very affordable and come in a great deal of types and varieties. Astroglide and KY Gel are available in Liquid and Gel forms and can be found in grocery and drug stores. There are more expensive water-based lubes available on the market as well. If you are looking for an even thicker water-based lube, Boy Butter makes an “H20″ version of their product which is water-based (butter free!). The only draw back to water-based lubricants is that they dry out easily. Some people like to keep a small spray bottle of water handy to ‘re-moisturize’ water-based lube before it dries, and that is often the most economical and convenient solution. You don’t have to check each toy to know that what you are using your lube with isn’t about to disintegrate on you, like you have to do with silicone and oil-based lubes.


Silicone Lubricants
Cons: Degrades silicone toys. Doesn’t always clean up easily.
There is a pretty big drawback to silicone lubes. Silicone lubricants break down silicone toys and can damage them very quickly. Be careful and make sure if you are going to use them with a toy, that the toy you use them on isn’t silicone or partially silicone! If you think you’re ready to try out a silicone lubricant, be aware that clean up is not as easy — protect your sheets or rugs. Eros and Wet Platinum are some of the more well-recommended silicone lubricants. Sex toy company Pjur makes a silicone lubricant called Analyse Me which is designed for anal play which contains jojoba oil, which is supposed to help relax the sphincter for anal sex — without deadening the sensation, the way “numbing” anal lubes can.

Boy Butter -- It's for real!

Oil-Based Lubricants
Cons: Degrades latex toys, condoms, and gloves.
Most oil-based lubricants are generally not recommended as they can breakdown rubber toys and latex gloves or condoms, or latex clothing!  However, some people really enjoy oil as a lubricant. Like silicone, oil-based lubes rarely dry out. They also help moisturize and soothe the skin, which can help a lot to increase the comfort of the “bottom.”  If you want to use an oil-based lubricant, use it only with non-latex gloves or condoms, or with non-latex toy with a non-latex condom.   Many cheaper sex toys are made out of latex or rubber, so make sure you are buying reputable toys. Toys made from medical-grade borosilicate glass such as Pyrex, stainless steel, or silicone are good choices. One of the more popular brands of oil-based lube is “Boy Butter,” but fresh cooking oil or crisco can also be used.  Some people believe that the oil can increase the chance of bacterial infections as it gives the bacteria something to survive off of — if that is a concern, I suggest using mineral oil, which is not edible. If you choose to use a cooking oil, make sure it is fresh, not rancid and not past the expiration date marked on the package. And always be sure to shower or bathe after sex acts to make sure that you have removed all traces of the oil to avoid the possibility of bacterial growth.

Help others find this:

Alternate "Finished" Version

Anything that isn’t sterilizable and has had body fluid contact (saliva, in this case) can be transmitting a myriad of STDs: Herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, … anything that can live in the mouth, even swine flu. The only toys you can be certain aren’t carrying fleets of germs are those that are silicone or metal or borosilicate glass and have been sterilized.

Making your own is even cheaper than buying even a cheap, crappy funnel gag at your local ‘lingerie shop’, and you can make as many as you want. One per bottom? One per use?

Pro-Dommes: It is my recommendation that you toss these out after every use, or give them to your sub to add to their own personal toy collection.

Label scratched out to protect the company, clever eh?

Step One: Go shopping. You need a strong plastic bottle bottle, not the flimsy kind that bends easily when squeezed. I like clear plastic. Make sure the mouth of the bottle is just the right size for the intended submissive’s mouth, and make sure that the bottle’s overall width is the right size for whatever you’re pouring into it… for example, if you plan to piss in your submissive’s mouth and you don’t have great aim, you may want a much larger bottle than the one pictured.

Removing plastic ring that seals the lid on

Step Two: Make sure your chosen bottle contains food and thus, is food safe plastic. No motor oil bottles, please. Empty and wash bottle.  Dry it out or let it dry. Remove label, and little plastic ring that seals the lid on. I suggest you use a butter knife for safety. Do as I ask, not as I do.

Cut into two sections

Step Three: Cut the upper body of the bottle, about a half inch after the mouth has widened completely. Keep the part that looks like a funnel. Throw out the other part, or use it to hold pens or something. File the edges of the funnel part to make it smooth

Cord tied on once

Step Four: Tie a 2ft long thin cord (parachute cord which can be found from Rainbow Rope was used here, or use a shoe lace) around the funnel, like shown. Make it just tight enough that it cannot be slipped off the funnel gag, but a little loose is good. Double knot it. Leave the ends loooong.

Second cord, on the opposite side

Step Five: Tie a second 2ft long cord around. Tie the knot facing the opposite direction, that way, the resulting cords are an inch away from each other. Looks like a big creepy spider now, huh?

What a handsome throat you have!

Step Six: Tie the cords around the sub. If you tie one set around the head above the tops of the ears, and the other set below the ears, and tie it tightly, it will be very difficult for the sub to push it out of their mouth.

Alternate "Finished" Version

Optional Step Seven is Optional: if you’d like to improve the looks of this toy, because you want to present it as a present to your playmate and it will be used over and over again, dip the rim in Tool Dip. Let it dry 12 hrs, then dip it again — three coats should do the trick. This will also make it softer and smoother so that the hard edge cannot cut skin accidentally — very useful if it will be used to piss into the submissive’s mouth or ejaculate directly into it! Note: My Tool Dip was too cold so it went on gloopy — if you do it right, it’ll look much more even and give a ‘finished’ look and make it look much less like you hacked up an old bottle.

Help others find this:

Ooh, I’m so excited!

Truly, a Large Dildo

Pervertable Buttplug

Anal Sadism
“Anal rape may be sexy… but hemorrhoids are not!”
Anal play for intermediate and advanced players — we will start with quick review of basics then move on to more interesting activities! Not a class for those who are sheepish! We will cover extremes such as large toys, fisting, prostate massages, male vs. female ‘bottoms’, anal torture, and enemas.

This class will be suitable for either gender of bottom. Do you know the anatomical and psychological differences between male and female bottoms?

Like any advanced or ‘edge’ play, anal play can pose risks. We will address many common dangers and alleviate your fears by explaining the best techniques for avoiding serious damage and how to deal with things that can go wrong.

Come learn about size queens, who love huge toys and anal masochists who loved to be raped and “tortured” painfully. See a collection of large sex toys, talk about how safe sex applies to enema equipment. Did you know “enema addiction” can be a bad thing? How could you hurt a sphincter without damaging it? Find your answers in class!

Help others find this: